Chalking things up to ‘being a woman’ and overlooking real health issues

I chalked it up to “being a woman,” because that’s what we’re taught to do. I’ve become a pro at grin and bear it and spent my weekly salary on over the counter pain relief. When I finally switched doctors and pushed for answers, the culprit was right there on the ultrasound screen: fibroids.

Proof that all the years of pain weren’t in my head. Proof that my previous doctor was not listening.

I had been brushed off by my doctors for almost a decade. “Normal.” “Nothing to worry about.” “It’s just part of being female.”

If you’re a woman reading this, chances are you’ve heard one of those lines, too. But here’s the truth: normal shouldn’t mean suffering.

Historically, women’s health has been under-researched and underfunded. Even today, studies show women are more likely than men to be misdiagnosed in emergency rooms and more likely to have their pain minimized.

From endometriosis to heart attack symptoms that don’t look “textbook,” we are too often dismissed or told to just tough it out. Meanwhile, many of us are juggling work, families, and about 14 snack requests an hour from our kids so pushing for proper medical care becomes another thing on our to do list. We don’t need to be superheroes, we need to be heard.

Advocating for ourselves in the exam room is not easy. I still remember crying in relief when my new doctor (a woman) finally looked me in the eye and said, “I believe you.” That shouldn’t feel revolutionary, but it did.

To my fellow women: speak up. Ask the extra question. Request the scan. Keep the appointment even when life is busy. Your pain is real, and you deserve answers.

To the doctors: please, believe women. We are the experts on our own bodies. If we say something is wrong, listen.

This isn’t just my story. It’s the story of so many women who are quietly living with pain, dismissed by the very system meant to help them. My hope is that by sharing, maybe one more woman will feel less alone and maybe one more doctor will pause before saying, “It’s just part of being a woman.”

Because our health is not “just part of it.” It’s everything.