“I don't know, you tell me. Do I want to meet Rick Hodges?" Obergefell recalls responding.
The two met for coffee in a hotel and hit it off.
Hodges said he wanted to meet Obergefell because he's an “icon.” He said he remembers telling Obergefell something along the lines of: “I don’t know if congratulations are in order because this began with you losing your husband, but I’m glad you won and I’ve never been so happy to lose in my life.”
Obergefell and John Arthur, who brought the initial legal action, were longtime partners living in Cincinnati. After Arthur was diagnosed with ALS, or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, in 2011, Obergefell became Arthur’s caregiver as the incurable condition ravaged his health. They flew to Maryland to marry before Arthur died in 2013, and the legal battle began when they learned their union wouldn't be listed on the death certificate handled by the Ohio Department of Health.
Although Hodges' role as health director required him to defend the state, it didn't mean that his personal views aligned with the state's position.
“Personally, I was supportive of their efforts, as were some of the people who worked on the case for the state. Professionally, I had a job to do and I did it to the best of my ability," Hodges said.
In the months leading up to the court's decision, Hodges had gathered a group of Ohio lawyers to develop the paperwork needed to create the licensing system for judges to grant same-sex couples marriage licenses on the day of the decision if the Supreme Court ruled in their favor, said Obergefell’s lead attorney in the case, Al Gerhardstein.
Gerhardstein said Obergefell and Hodge's friendship is unusual in a “very positive and exemplary way.”
“We need more models like that as we struggle with difficult social issues," he said.
The duo said they see each other two to three times per year and have routinely spoken together at conferences and panels.
“It’s funny, whenever we go into an event together, everybody claps for him and looks at me like I’m the prince of darkness until we’re done, and then it’s great," Hodges said.
They are seeing each other more often this year since it's the 10th anniversary of the decision. Recently, they saw each other at a symposium at Northern Kentucky University and at another event, sponsored by Equality Ohio, the same organization that first led to their introduction.
“I can’t think of other cases where the plaintiff and the defendant are friends. They might exist, I don’t know about them," Obergefell said. "But I’m really glad that Rick and I are friends.”
Credit: AP
Credit: AP