2. My pressure cooker exploded and scared my sister, so I had to stay home.
3. I had to attend the funeral of my wife’s cousin’s pet because I am an uncle and pallbearer.
4. I was blocked in by police raiding my home.
5. I had to testify against a drug dealer, and the dealer’s friend mugged me.
6. My roots were showing, and I had to keep my hair appointment because I looked like a mess.
7. I ate cat food instead of tuna and am deathly ill.
8. I'm not sick, but my llama is.
9. I used a hair remover under my arms and had chemical burns.
10. I am bowling the game of my life and can't make it to work.
11. I am experiencing traumatic stress from a large spider found in my home.
12. I have better things to do.
13. I ate too much birthday cake.
14. A duck bit me.
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