Wild Berry owner Marc Biales now offers a look back at the local phenomenon of his ads in a book entitled, in true Wild Berry tradition, “Elvis is Alive & Working at Wild Berry on Sunday Afternoons.”
The Wild Berry opened in 1971 as a handmade leather shop but evolved into a “trendy gift shop.” They began selling their locally-made incense, expanding that to manufacturing the incense for sale in thousands of stores worldwide in 1992.
The book coincides with the store’s 45 years in operation as well as their recognition as the Chamber of Commerce’s Business of the Year. Reproduced in the book are many of the former ads.
“ “I had been collecting them since the beginning in boxes,” Biales said. “Some were in my old office, which has since been torn down. Some were at the (incense) factory and some were at home.”
A sample of some of the offerings in the book include:
• What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
• Is your mail being delivered by a uniformed agent of the U.S. Government or are you just paranoid?
• What is another word for “Thesaurus?”
• Why do your proofreading skills improve as soon as you press “Send?”
In his preface to the book, he thanks Yelena Kondratova for editing and designing the book, adding with humor, “Her diligence and sense of humor made this book much more readable that I could have done.”
Biales said Kondratova tried to put one funny on each page — although in many cases that is an understatement — but suggests readers keep the context of the times in mind.
“Some are really not that funny, but they might be funny at the time. Some jokes would not be tolerated today. Times do change,” he said. “The ads reflect the policy of freer-thinking customers and our merchandise is a little more on the freer-thinking side.”
The ads were not exempt from poking fun at the store itself, with such offerings including:
• If you don’t like our store, we offer classes in acceptance of reality.
• Shop with confidence! Our employees are license by the State of Ohio. (B.M.V.)
• Inflatable dartboard recall.
Jokes for the ads came from many sources, Biales said, but he gives special credit for many of them to Larry Grossman and Ralph Picardo. The two of them, he said, sent him jokes steadily over the years.
“Local people came up to me with nuggets I could use. It took skill to get out of the nugget a few words. A lot of the jokes were too long to use,” he said.
In the category entitled “Oxford, Ohio” are these:
• Oxford, 10 square miles surrounded by reality.
• What do you think? Are all the benches in the Uptown Park facing the wrong way?
Biales said he likes to think of the book a reader might pick up occasionally and read a few pages and keep it handy.
“It’s like a coffee table book or a book to keep in the bathroom. You can go back to it,” he said. “It was really fun putting it together. When it was done and printed up, I still go back to it and get a good belly-laugh. It still tickles my funny bone.”
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More excerpts from “Elvis is Alive & Working at Wild Berry on Sunday Afternoons”:
• Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
• If God intended man to fly, he’d make it easier to get to the airport.
• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
• Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
• Warning: Dates on a calendar are closer than they look.
• If it’s petty, don’t sweat it. If it’s sweaty, don’t pet it.
• Half the people in the world are below average.
• Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
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