Many people will scoff at Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner for giving an engagement ring to 24-year-old Playmate Crystal Harris.

They’ll say their ages are so far apart that they won’t have anything in common to talk about at the breakfast table.

Sure, they will. Harris can talk about Victoria’s Secret. And Hefner can talk about Queen Victoria. I think Hefner used to date her.

Anyway, this will be the third marriage for Hefner, who is starting up a new magazine called Playcoot, and I say good for him. Sure, he could get charged with assault with a dead weapon. But so what if she’s 60 years younger than he is and maybe she’s after his money?

What else was Hefner going to do with his money anyway? Get a new bathrobe that opens in the back? Go over to Home Depot and pick out a new set of yard tools? Which would you rather be doing at 84 — trimming the bushes or ... ? Wait. Let’s back up and start over on that one.

Others will say Hefner could more wisely spend his money on educational pursuits, like travel. Travel? At 84, with a 24-year-old Playmate around the house, why would he want to go anywhere? If you were some old guy in Hefner’s position, and I mean that in a wholesome way, where would you rather go? Belize? Or just hang out?

Hefner says Harris burst into tears when he gave her the ring. Maybe so. Maybe she was thinking, “What am I doing with this bag of wrinkles?”

Here’s the way I see it. Time magazine ought to redo that Person of the Year award and give it to Hefner. Sure, young Mark Zuckerberg pulled a biggie when he managed to invent Facebook, thereby hooking up nearly 600 million people so they could send messages to each other such as, “It’s so cold my computer is hardly workin ... my coffee is frozen ... and my cigarette is stickin to my lips.” I just got that one a few minutes ago on my Facebook page.

It does sound kinda like a blues song, though, doesn’t it? But does giving someone the ability to send this message to hell and gone warrant a man the Person of the Year honor?

On the other hand, over the ages, wars have been fought over what Hefner has just accomplished. Nations have fallen over this stuff.

And Hefner didn’t even have to arm-wrestle anyone for it.

Of course, there could be some other reasons why Hefner finds Miss Harris so alluring, other than her age and her long blonde hair.

Has it occurred to anyone that maybe she has a great recipe for lasagna? It hadn’t occurred to me, either.

Then again, maybe she’s just really good at changing diapers.

John Kelso writes for the Austin (Texas) American-Statesman. E-mail: jkelso@statesman.com.