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Distance tightens military family bonds

Season makes separation harder for local military families

Melissa Amburgy stands Monday, Dec. 21, 2009, with three of her four children; (from left)Josh, Jordan and Jacob; at her Lebanon home. Amburgy's husband is currently serving his second tour of duty in Iraq and her son, Jacob, is scheduled to deploy in January.

Apryl Pilolli/Staff photographer Melissa Amburgy stands Monday, Dec. 21, 2009, with three of her four children; (from left)Josh, Jordan and Jacob; at her Lebanon home. Amburgy's husband is currently serving his second tour of duty in Iraq and her son, Jacob, is scheduled to deploy in January.

ENLARGE PHOTO

Submitted Sgt. Maj. Ted Amburgy

Yazmyne Richardson hugs her father, Staff Sgt. Brian Richardson, while he was home from serving in the U.S. Army. Staff Sgt. Richardson is currently serving over in South Korea.

Submitted Yazmyne Richardson hugs her father, Staff Sgt. Brian Richardson, while he was home from serving in the U.S. Army. Staff Sgt. Richardson is currently serving over in South Korea.

ENLARGE PHOTO

Debbie Williams, right, holds a photo of her son Staff Sgt. Brial Keith Richardson Jr. as she sits on her couch inside her Mason, Ohio home with her children Sydnee (cq) and Chris Oglesby Tuesday, Dec 22, 2009. Richardson is stationed in South Korea and will not make it home for the holidays.

Gary Stelzer/Staff photographer Debbie Williams, right, holds a photo of her son Staff Sgt. Brial Keith Richardson Jr. as she sits on her couch inside her Mason, Ohio home with her children Sydnee (cq) and Chris Oglesby Tuesday, Dec 22, 2009. Richardson is stationed in South Korea and will not make it home for the holidays.

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By Marie Rossiter, Staff Writer Updated 11:20 PM Friday, December 25, 2009

Sgt. Maj. Ted Amburgy, a communications specialist stationed in Baghdad, Iraq, knows he is one of only a few fortunate people who can make daily calls to his family. But, when it comes to being apart on Christmas, not even a phone call can bridge the more than 6,000 miles between his family.

“Our children are grown, so it’s the only time we usually all get together,” Amburgy said via phone from Camp Victory near Baghdad, Iraq. “That makes it really tough right now.”

Amburgy, a Lebanon resident, is serving his second tour of duty in Iraq and plans to extend his stay through at least the end of 2010. Within a few weeks, he will transfer to Kuwait to continue his service. And, while he said he is glad to be leaving a war zone, the timing of his departure stings a little.

“I think my son, Jacob, will be coming over here to this exact location in January as part of the Army Reserves,” he said. “But, by the time he gets here, I probably won’t be here anymore.”

For Amburgy’s wife, Melissa, seeing another family member go to Iraq will be difficult, but something she said she has to accept.

“When Jacob got the call, he said it was what he had to do,” she said. “At least he’ll still be here for Christmas.”

The Amburgys are one of many families in Warren County who are missing husbands, fathers, sons or daughters who are serving in the military overseas during the holidays. For those left behind, it’s a delicate balance of trying to find a sense of normalcy while thoughts of their loved one constantly lingers.

“I’ll be traveling with some of my children out to Colorado to see my other daughter,” Melissa said. “But, we’re a very close family. It won’t be the same without Ted here.”

Melissa holds onto one recent e-mail Ted sent as the holiday season got started to remind her about how much he thinks of his family back home in Lebanon.

“I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving at home because it was a very lonely meal here,” Ted wrote. “Even though you are surrounded by people, it isn’t the same as being with family.”

Families with loved ones serving in the military overseas have to deal with long-term separation every day of the year. Around the holidays, though, the empty place at the table can be a harsh reminder of the traditions that won’t be shared this year.

Yet, even with hardships that come from having someone so far away, those who are left to keep the home fires burning find ways to support one another and celebrate the love they share.

‘Now we’re  really friends’

Amburgy has been married to her husband for almost 30 years. During those 30 years, Ted Amburgy has been in the Army Reserves for 28 of them and is currently serving at Camp Victory in Baghdad, Iraq. With her husband serving so many years in the military, Amburgy said she thought she would be used to the separation by now.

“It’s almost harder now than it was the first time,” she said. “The first time, I was more sympathetic. This time my kids are all grown and I’m by myself. He’s over there earning a living so we can pay off our second mortgage. It just makes me sad that the economy is in such bad shape that he has to be over there to earn the money we need.”

Amburgy’s son Jacob also is a member of the Army Reserves and will be deployed to Iraq sometime in January. She said it hurts to have another family member leave her, but she is proud of their service to their family and their country.

And, although, they have been apart for the better part of two years, with one more year to go in his deployment in Iraq, Amburgy said she feels closer to her husband now than ever before.

“You learn that you take for granted all the little things,” Amburgy said. “I think in all the talking we’ve done, we’ve grown closer together in some ways. I’d say now we’re really friends. I know more about who he is: he really loves his family and I know he’d do anything for us.”

Daughter: ‘He’s doing this  for me’

Ever since 11-year-old Yazmyne Richardson received a Web camera in October from her father, Staff Sgt. Brian Richardson, she has kept a close eye on when he’s online. It’s the only way she can see and talk to him while he is serving in the U.S. Army in South Korea as a signal communicator.

“We haven’t had a chance to use it too much,” Yazmyne said. “But, we try to talk through instant messaging or phone a few times a week.”

His mother, Debbie Williams of Mason, said her family cherishes every phone call, letter or e-mail her son can send.

“There are times I just wake up with this urgency of spirit,” Williams said. “And, I ask the Lord to give us more special times together and bring him home.”

Richardson’s siblings and his mother said they plan to “do up the holidays” as much as they can for Yazmyne. One of their home’s six Christmas tress is decorated with only red, white and blue ornaments in honor of Richardson.

“It’s about the simple love we can give her,” said brother Christopher Oglesby.

“We have to step up for her while her father is gone,” he said.

Richardson has been in the Army for almost his daughter’s entire life. And, even though she misses him, she said she understands why they are apart.

“I remember he told me once that he is doing this for me,” Yazmyne said, choking back tears. “And it makes me proud.”

Contact this reporter at (513) 696-4542 or mrossiter@coxohio.com.

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I'll have to agree with you on this Joe. Unfortunatly I have seen it first hand. We need to pray for the families of our soldiers as well as our soldiers. So many families lose their way with a parent away for so long, and the children are caught in the middle. It's a shame.

Kat
6:23 PM, 12/26/2009

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This story is the exception not the rule. Many families are brokan apart by war. The home is lost in foreclosure or the wife finds someone else while his or her spouse is overseas. This story paints a rosy picture but doe's not mention the many families that don't withstand the pressure. Just look up the divorce rate of military families. My hat goes off the the people in this story.

joe
5:07 PM, 12/26/2009

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