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Coalition forms to combat domestic violence

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By Tiffany Y. Latta, Staff Writer Updated 11:35 AM Monday, November 30, 2009

MIDDLETOWN — Six months into their relationship, a man she thought was perfect began screaming at her, smacking her and punching her regularly.

A month before their planned wedding date, the man beat and raped her for two hours.

She was hospitalized and convinced to press charges that resulted in the man being sentenced to a year in prison.

“A nurse at the hospital soothed my fears. And an officer there said once the abuse gets to its peak they kill you. That clicked in my head,” said Jen, who asked not to be fully identified. “I knew if ... I went halfway and he got out of jail, I wouldn’t be breathing.”

Police responded to 339 domestic violence cases in 2008 in Middletown. That’s why YWCA Dove House Middletown officials are launching the Middletown Domestic Violence Coalition in January.

The coalition will include police, hospital and social service officials in the area who meet monthly to discuss domestic violence cases and how to better work together and serve victims.

“They need to know where we’re coming from, and we need to know where they’re coming from,” said Melissa Kennard, manager of Dove House, a shelter for battered women and their children.

Fran Reese, domestic violence program director, said Dove House Hamilton has had a domestic violence coalition for years. The effort has improved the response to victims seeking help from police, hospitals or other agencies, she said.

“Sometimes the system works against the victim,” Reese said. “If they can’t get help ... it leads to them going back to their perpetrator.’’

The system worked for the most part in Jen’s case, she said. She’s happy she’s now living with her children in a safe place and urges other abused women to seek help, too.

“Don’t believe that ... he’s going to get better,” she said. “It gets easier for them every time they hit you.”

Questions  to ask yourself

Does your partner:

•Threaten to hurt you or your children?

•Say it’s your fault when he or she hits you, then promises it won’t happen again (but it does)?

•Put you down in public or keep you from contacting family or friends?

•Throw you down, push, hit, choke or slap you?

•Force you to have sex when you don’t want to?

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it sounds like this michael person is an abuser himself....who else would think that way....sounds like you were accused of beating someone to have this much agression against women who have been beaten by their partners....you are sad!!! if your partner beats you get out while you still can...they will never change...NEVER....the violence only progresses to someone being killed...usually the victim.....

m.h.
12:03 PM, 12/1/2009

REPORT ABUSE

Janice, you need to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. There are those of us who know what really happened. You know what I'm talking about.

WronglyAccused
8:41 AM, 12/1/2009

REPORT ABUSE

Does your partner:

-Emotionally abuse you by not speaking to you for long periods of time when they are angered, except you never are aware that they were angered?

-Emotionally abuse you when you do not react appropriately to their subtle facial gestures?

-Share their problems that involve you with their family instead of just talking to you?

-Treat you nicer when you are paying their bills?

-Use sex as a bargaining tool in order to get their way and to control you?

Women abuse men more often
3:28 AM, 12/1/2009

REPORT ABUSE

I myself ended up in a domestic violent relationship the first time he broke my rear view mirror off trying to beat me in the face as i drove down rt4 i was lucky i got out of the car and two car salesman came to my rescue he stalked me for several years then when i finally thought i was safe i got a call from his daughter who told me if i didn't come there he was going to kill her i went he tore both rotar cuffs in both shoulders he got 18 months in jail and still tries to find me

Janice
5:16 PM, 11/30/2009

REPORT ABUSE

Sometimes the abuser is a woman. My wife has beaten me several times. She did it when we were dating, and she continues to do it to this day. She tells me that I am fat, and that no other woman would want me. Fortunately, her blows don't hurt me physically, because I am fat. But the emotional scars run deep, because I am sensitive.

ScaredStiff
3:27 PM, 11/30/2009

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