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Home > Blogs > Women's Life > Archives > 2011 > July > 29 > Entry
Wine, chocolates and roses: Romantic or cliche?
Another blog I follow has been debating this week about the romantic merits of some classic gestures like being serenaded, gifts of chocolate and flowers, candles and rose petals in the boudoir, and taking baths together. Some women love these displays of affection, while for others, the cheesy factor is just too much.
Obviously, romance is a word with many individualized definitions, and what is romantic for some is a buzzkill for others. In addition to the those mentioned above, I came up with a few more examples that tend to draw strong opinions from women:
- Public displays of affection
- Public marriage proposals
- Holding the door open for you, opening the car door for you, or pulling out your chair
- Playing footsie or holding hands at the table
- Ordering your food for you
- Surprising you with anything - a date, a gift, a night without the kids
- Expensive gifts, like diamonds
- Frequent compliments
- Paying for your date
- Buying you lingerie
- Creating something just for you - a poem, a song, a painting or sculpture, etc.
- Getting a tattoo of your name or face
What are some of the things from that list that you consider romantic? Which ones make you shudder? I know some women who hate being surprised, and others who would be offended if their date ordered food for them.
My husband proposed to me in public in the middle of Chicago, but I don’t think a lot of other people really noticed it happening, so I was spared the pressure of a stadium or theater full of people waiting for my answer - which I doubt I would have liked. But I also remember the last day of school in 6th grade when my English teacher’s boyfriend proposed to her over the school intercom during the afternoon announcements, which I found (and still find) charming, endearing and romantic.
Roses don’t do much for me, but I was touched when my husband brought home a bouquet of painted daisies when I was having a bad week. Being a writer myself, I would be swayed by a well-written poem (extra points if it’s a sonnet).
Sometimes, though, it takes just a few words to make a heart melt. Last week, after doing something that sent me into a hysterical laughing fit, he said, “I like making you laugh.” Such a mundane sentence, but it definitely struck a chord. He’s not a very verbal person, in that he rarely puts words to his affection (beyond saying “I love you” and giving me a ton of cute pet names), so to say something like that was meaningful just because it was unexpected and uncharacteristic of him.
What does your spouse/significant other do that makes you feel loved? Or, if no such person exists in your life at the moment, what could a potential partner do to win you over?
Permalink | Comments (6) | Post your comment | Categories: Relationships
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By Mary
July 30, 2011 1:46 AM | Link to this
I was in an abusive marriage for many years before I could safely get out. So I never had all the romantic stuff. I found a man who accepts me for me, has helped me move on with patience and love. For me that has been the most romantic thing anyone could do. I don’t need nor ask for much. But when I am having a rough day or just down he walks up behind me and hugs me gently kissing the top of my head with an “I love you”. For me, thats makes it all seem so much better and it’s simple but romantic. The other ladies can have all the other stuff. :)
By True love
July 30, 2011 6:35 AM | Link to this
To Mary You are so lucky to have been able to safely get out. Usually it takes much help from those who give love. Not everyone is loved that much.
By Save the money
July 30, 2011 8:15 AM | Link to this
I would be irrate if my husband wasted money on me with flowers, especially. I am not needy and have chosen a man with more intelligence than that. Total waste of resources. Meant for the most selfish!
By Melissa
July 30, 2011 10:24 AM | Link to this
I am fine with holding hands, hugging, and kisses in public. I LOVE it when a man opens doors for me and such. I like footsie, and if he knows me, he can order for me. Surprises are good, expensive ones are not. Compliments are ok, but its more important to me that we do things together - cook a meal, clean, shop.. simple every day things done as a couple. To me, this is soo much more important than spending money on gifts that is better saved for something else.
By Daisy
July 30, 2011 4:06 PM | Link to this
I love most of the things on the list. But I don’t need to diamonds( not saying I would turn them down if my hubby made more money, but love flowers, wine, candles.
By Marisa Becker
August 2, 2011 8:30 PM | Link to this
Mary, I echo what True Love said and am happy for you that you were able to escape an abusive relationship. I can see how such an experience would definitely change one’s perspective on what it means to be romantic. Thank you for sharing that with us.