Home of the Week
Madison graduation 2012
Warren County CC graduation
Home > Blogs > Adventures in Motherhood > Archives > 2012 > January > 24
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Toddler + out of eye-shot = MESS (will this mom ever learn?)
I am the mother of three children. THREE. I have been through the gamut of Toddlerhood twice.
The obvious lesson: toddlers cannot be trusted.
However, now running the toddler-gamut for the third time, I remain the Oh-she’s-fine!-mom; assuming my 2-year old daughter is off being mannerly, sweet and playing nicely. Yet she continues to prove that my toddler-radar needs some work; a lot of work.
For obvious reasons - ages 8, 6, and 2 - I enjoy the occasional time out of the house. And because I decided I needed more of this I joined a direct sales company that sounds something like “dirty nun.”
Said company also just opened a distribution center in our home town. So it was a win-win: a break from the kids, er, “daily norm” and supporting local jobs.
However, due to a scheduling conflict (my husband’s weekly hoops game) I had to take the kids along - with permission from the hostess (a friend, thankfully) - on a recent outing. It wasn’t five minutes after the Princess made her entrance (really, five minutes!) when I heard my son call from the other room, “Mom! Sissy’s naked!”
And that she was. Stripped down to her undershirt and diaper, she was offering to show the hostess’ son her “booty.” The child (hers, not mine) and I were both wide-eyed, speechless, stifling giggles and wishing the “Dirty Nun Company” had a Toddler-Tote I could stuff her in and sneak out the door.
Then last weekend we went to a party; it was a family event so other children were there, too. The adults gathered around to visit and play games, leaving the older children in charge of the younger children.
My daughter paired up with a little boy her age and went off to play under the guidance - or so we thought - of “the big kids.”
Our game came to a stand-still though, when my daughter appeared in the room soaking wet, her playmate missing.
All thoughts went the same direction - to the bathroom.
Water was all over the floor and toys floated in the toilet bowl; the two tots oblivious to the mess and the “Eeeewww!”
I was again left shaking my head, but still failed to take note of my child’s ornery antics.
As if cleaning up toilet water wasn’t gross enough, getting diaper rash cream out of carpet is a whole new level of impossible.
Just ask my mother, who now has a greasy, white stain on her living room floor compliments of her granddaughter who was “tanging her beebee” (changing her baby doll).
“She’s too quiet,” said my husband. “What is she doing?”
“Playing in the living room with her toys,” I ignorantly replied.
By the time I went to (double) check it was too late. The carpet was streaked with Desitin, the baby doll - and her “mommy” - were covered head-to-toe in white paste.
Conclusion: Toddler + out of eye-shot for more than a half-second = MESS
You will have to forgive me for cutting this abruptly short, but I have a lot to clean up …
Contact this contributing writer at Motherhoodcolumn@yahoo.com or facebook.com/motherhoodCTC.
Tweet
