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August 2008
The End of Summer Movie Awards
It may be a holiday weekend, but other than the reportedly excellent Man on Wire opening at Neon, the theatrical slate is … unremarkable, to put it charitably. It includes a Babylon AD, a movie that has been trashed by its own director; College, which probably is only funny if you’re on a beer binge; and a “comedy” that I don’t want to draw ANY attention to. To be fair, Hamlet 2 and Traitor have attracted decent if not spectacular reviews.
With such an unimpressive roster, for the weekend I’ll take one look back at summer and offer my own brand of movie awards.
Iron Man: The Worst Performance in a Good Movie goes to Jeff Bridges, a great actor who isn’t very good at playing villains.
Made of Honor : The THIS had to be Sydney Pollack’s Final Screen Appearance? Award
Speed Racer: The Way to Swallow Dark Knight Profits award. Warner Bros. released both films. Speed Racer bombed; The Dark Knight … didn’t.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Flawed but not Nearly as Bad as Some People Said You Were.
Sex and the City: Movie Most In Need of a Nip and Tuck.
Kung Fu Panda: The New Vocabulary award with the word “Skidoosh.”
The Incredible Hulk: The Dubious Evaluation award for calling it a success when it made barely more money than the 2003 film.
The Love Guru: The How to Make People Wonder If You Were Ever Funny award, presented to Mike Meyers.
WALL-E: Best Picture
More after the jump …
Wanted: The Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing award.
Hancock: The I Wonder How He Would Have Handled the Joker query.
Kit Kittredge: An American Girl: The Shoulda Been a Contender award.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army: Victim of the Worst Release Date, only a week before The Dark Knight. It should have performed better than it did.
Meet Dave: Lamest Title.
The Dark Knight: The You Don’t Need Anything Because You Already Have Almost $500 Million award.
Mamma Mia!: The Best Performance in a Bad Movie award to Amanda Seyfried, who was sweet and subtle, unlike the movie itself.
The X Files: I Want to Believe: Most Ironic Title.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: The So Bad it Made Maria Bello Unappealing prize.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Crassest Commercial Disguised as a Movie.
Tropic Thunder: The Purple Heart for Weathering an Overblown Controversy prize.
The Rocker: The Sound of One Hand Clapping award for grossing a whopping $4 million. AKA The How to Make Meet Dave Look Like a Smash award.
Now give me your own film awards. What was the best movie? The worst movie? Feel free to come up with your own categories.
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December’s movies: The Oscar race heats up
The fall movie preview concludes with the strongest lineup yet. You’d think the Oscars are afoot or something.
DECEMBER 5
Punisher: War Zone
The lowdown: Hero shoots a lot of bad guys and makes mean faces.
The forecast: Funny - I don’t seem to remember many people actually liking the previous Punisher film. So where’d this come from?
The prospect: F
DECEMBER 12
The Day the Earth Stood Still
The lowdown: A remake of the 1951 sci-fi classic, reportedly with a bit of an eco spin. Keanu Reeves is Klaatu.
The forecast: Many people have understandably howled in protest at this film, but it’s being directed by Scott Derrickson, who made The Exorcism of Emily Rose, which I quite liked. That’s why I’m willing to give it a shot.
The prospect: B
Defiance
The lowdown: A group of Jewish brothers organize the largest armed rescue of Jews during the Holocaust. Daniel Craig leads the cast.
The forecast: Director Ed Zwick’s output has been uneven, ranging from the excellent Glory to the ponderous Legends of the Fall Asleep. At the least, I hope this film falls somewhere in the middle.
The prospect: B
DECEMBER 19
Revolutionary Road
The lowdown: A young couple raising a family in a Connecticut suburb during the mid-1950s look to break free from their mediocre lives.
The forecast: Kate (Winslet) and Leo (DiCaprio) together again at last, directed by Kate’s Husband, Sam Mendes, the director of American Beauty and Road to Perdition. Works for me!
The prospect: A
Seven Pounds
The lowdown: A professional man (Will Smith) who is close to suicide for his role in an auto accident that claimed the lives of seven people finds a reason to live, and to atone, when he falls for a woman (Rosario Dawson).
The forecast: Smith reunites with Pursuit of Happyness director Gabriele Muccino, who kept that film from being too maudlin. With any luck, he’ll repeat that feat.
The prospect: B
The Yes Man
The lowdown: Jim Carrey’s just a man who cain’t say no, he’s in a terrible fix.
The forecast: The premise sounds maybe a little too similar to Liar Liar, but Carrey hasn’t made a flat-out comedy for a while, so it will be nice to see him mine that territory as long as he doesn’t go too far over the top.
The prospect: B
The Tale of Desperaux
The lowdown: Banished from his home for being more man than mouse, Despereaux (Matthew Broderick) is befriended by Princess Pea (Emma Watson) who teaches him the value of reading books.
The forecast: Looks like a charming little animated entry, and it’s nice to see the gifted Emma Watson doing something besides Hermione, even if it is only voice work.
The prospect: B
DECEMBER 25
Bedtime Stories
The lowdown: The lavish bedtime stories that a hotel handyman (Adam Sandler) tells his niece and nephew start to magically come true. Kerri Russell and Courtney Cox co-star.
The forecast: Haven’t seen any trailers yet, but I like the cast. I’m just hoping it’s more inspired than, say, Night at the Museum.
The prospect: B
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The lowdown: As everyone around him grows older, the title character (Brad Pitt) ages backwards.
The forecast: The trailer for this movie is utterly spellbinding, and director David Fincher’s visuals are never less than enthralling. All at once, this seems like a departure for the director, while still seeming of a piece with his other work. This is the Oscar candidate I am most eager to see.
The prospect: A
Frost/Nixon
The lowdown: Chronicles the legendary interviews in which President Nixon opened up about Watergate.
The forecast: It was a tremendous hit on Broadway, with Frank Langella earning raves as Nixon. But will it translate successfully to the screen? With Ron Howard at the helm, I’m thinking yeah.
The prospect: A
Marley & Me
The lowdown: A Labrador retriever named Marley teaches his newlywed owners (Jennifer Aniston and OWen Wilson) a thing or two about patience and parenthood. From the director of The Devil Wears Prada, David Frankel.
The forecast: I thought the teaser was extremely cheesy. Chariots of Fire parodies are so 20 years ago. Still, I know it’s based on a well-liked book and the leads are appealing, so I’m curious.
The prospect: B
The Spirit
The lowdown/forecast: Frank Miller brings another graphic novel to the screen, and this time he’s calling all the shots, directing and adapting Will Eisner’s work. The ads make it look a bit too much like a Sin City sequel, but I’m in.
The prospect: B
Valkyrie
The lowdown: Tom Cruise leads a group of fellow Nazis in an attempt to assassinate Hitler.
The forecast: It’s been the victim of all kinds of bad buzz, from being bounced around the calendar to lugging the baggage that Cruise carries these days. Unlike some people, I’m willing to give Cruise a chance, particularly when he’s being directed by Bryan Singer.
The prospect: B
LOCAL DATES TBA
One of the particulars of being in a smaller market like Dayton is that it’s not always certain when some holiday movies will open locally. Here are movies I could not find firm local dates for. Some may not open until January.
Doubt
The lowdown: The principal (Meryl Streep) of a Catholic school in the Bronx grows suspicious of a priest (Philip Seymour Hoffman) who might have crossed the line with one of their students; her accusation leads to a confrontation that also involves a young nun (Amy Adams) who might have proof of the priest’s wrongdoing.
The forecast: I’m sold on the basis of Adams alone, of course, but we also have Streep, Hoffman and a Pulitzer-winning play? Da-yum.
The prospect: A
Gran Torino
The lowdown: Clint Eastwood directs himself as a Korean War vet who tries to reform his neighbor, a young Hmong teenager, who tried to steal Kowalski’s prized possession: his 1972 Gran Torino.
The forecast: This is said to be the stronger candidate of Eastwood’s two films this year, and The Changeling didn’t exactly get bad buzz so far. How prolific can you get?
The prospect: A
Milk
The lowdown: The story of Harvey Milk’s (Penn) ascent to become San Francisco’s first openly gay city supervisor in 1977, and the fallout that led to his assassination.
The prospect: These events already inspired an excellent documentary, The Times of Harvey Milk. If this dramatization is half as good, we’re in decent shape.
The prospect: A
As always, tell me what strikes your fancy, not only this month but through the whole season. What is the one film you are most anxious to see?
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November movie preview: Bond, Twilight n’ more
Our fall preview rolls on. After a relatively lackluster September and October, November heats things for at least one week.
NOVEMBER 7
Madagascar: Back 2 Africa
The lowdown: The escaped zoo animals try to head back home to NYC, only to crash land in Africa.
The forecast: I thought the original Madagascar was perhaps the weakest animated film by DreamWorks. It was less a story then a string of lame and obvious pop culture references, redeemed only by the hilarious penguins. If this movie had to have a sequel, I would have much preferred it to be about them alone. Alas, no.
The prospect: D
NOVEMBER 14
Quantum of Solace
The lowdown: James Bond returns, setting his sights on the men who betrayed his lost love.
The forecast: Casino Royale was the first truly great Bond film in years, with Daniel Craig instantly owning the character. The dynamite trailer indicates he’s as sharp as ever, and it’s full steam ahead for the franchise. Never mind all that Oscar stuff - this is the film I’m most looking forward to seeing in the fall. PS: Will people STOP grousing about the title? It’s not that hard to figure out, folks!
The prospect: A
Role Models
The lowdown: Wild behavior forces a pair of energy drink reps (Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott) to enroll in a Big Brother program.
The forecast: This comedy has gotten some good buzz, no pun intended. The premise is nothing if not unique.
The prospect: B
Soul Men
The lowdown: Two estranged soul-singing legends (Samuel L. Jackson and Bernie Mac) agree to participate in a reunion performance at the Apollo Theater to honor their recently deceased band leader.
The forecast: Fate cast a sad shadow over this film, with Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes passing away so close together. Regardless, this sounds like a fun movie.
The prospect: B
NOVEMBER 21
Bolt
The lowdown: A “super dog” on a TV show doesn’t realize he’s not really a super dog, when he escapes from the set to find his beloved master. Will be released in 3D.
The forecast: Too much has been made of the fact that the original director of this movie, Chris Sanders, who created Lilo and Stitch, was removed from the project. I don’t imagine this will be top-flight Disney, but I think they’re making steps toward a return to form. We’ll see just how big those steps are.
The prospect: B
The Soloist
The lowdown: Reporter Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr.) befriends Nathaniel Ayers (Foxx), a brilliant but troubled musician who lives on Skid Row.
The buzz: The IMDB put it best: This will be either a movie of multiple-Oscar glory or brilliantly miscalculated melodrama. Given that the director is the creative Joe Wright, who made Atonement and Pride and Prejudice, I’m confident.
The prospect: B
Twilight
The lowdown: The immensely popular book series by Stephanie Meyer comes to the big screen - moving into Harry Potter’s old date.
The forecast: I’m usually not into Meyer’s sort of literature, but I didn’t expect to be as enthralled by Potter as I was either. Major point in its favor: director Catherine Hardwicke, who understands the teen milieu very well, having directed thirteen
The prospect: B
NOVEMBER 26
Australia
The lowdown: In northern Australia before World War II, an English aristocrat (Nicole Kidman) who inherits a sprawling ranch pacts with a stock-man (Jackman) to protect her new property from a takeover.
The forecast: Director Baz Luhrmann returns from a long hiatus after Moulin Rouge and returns in epic mode. My anticipation is sky-high on this one.
The prospect: A
Four Christmases
The lowdown: A married couple (Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn) from two divorced families are tasked with attending four Christmas Day celebrations.
The forecast: The pairing of these leads is promising, I just hope it’s a lot better than Fred Claus.
The prospect: B
Nothing Like the Holidays
The lowdown: The members of the Rodriguez family return to their parents’ home in Chicago to celebrate the holiday season, but when old tensions surface, the pressure is on the individuals to truly come together. John Leguizamo, Freddy Rodriguez and Debra Messing star.
The forecast: Neither here nor there on this one.
The prospect:C
Transporter 3
The lowdown: Vroooom! Bang! Crash!
The forecast: I can’t muster up a spark of enthusiasm for this.
The prospect: D
What can you muster enthusiasm for?
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Fall movie preview: October
As leaves fall and Halloween decorations spring up, a crowded October brings surprisingly few true highlights. If you missed the September installment, click here.
OCTOBER 3
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
The lowdown: I Chihuahua? No, I appalled.
The forecast: I have to admit, there’s a small part of me that wonders if this movie can really be as ghastly as that infamous trailer. A very, very, very, very, very, very small part.
The prospect: F
Blindness
The lowdown: A doctor’s wife becomes the only person who can see in a town where everyone is struck with a mysterious case of sudden blindness.
The forecast: This film has generated decidedly lukewarm buzz so far, but I’m in for any movie directed by Fernando Meirellles, who made City of God and The Constant Gardener.
The prospect: A
The Duchess
The lowdown: A chronicle of the life of 18th century aristocrat Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, who was reviled for her extravagant political and personal life.
The forecast: Keira Knightley is known for wearing a corset well, but is this more Pride and Prejudice or Silk?
The prospect: B
Flash of Genius
The lowdown: The true story of the man (Greg Kinnear) who fought the auto industry for his patent on intermittent windshield wipers.
The forecast: On the one hand it sounds like an interesting slice of history, but can one really muster up a lot of passion about intermittent windshield wipers?
The prospect: B
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
The lowdown: A British journalist (Simon Pegg) gets a new job with a high-profile New York magazine, though he soon learns the bridges he burned will catch up to him.
The forecast: A great cast also includes Kirsten Dunst, Jeff Bridges and Megan Fox, and the trailer is intriguing too.
The prospect: B
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
The lowdown: Nick (Michael Cera) asks Nora (Kat Dennings) to pretend to be his girlfriend for 5 minutes so he won’t have to feel as awkward around his ex. Then sparks unexpectedly fly.
The forecast: “This year’s Juno” had to come along at some point. The trailer didn’t grab me the way Juno’s did, and besdies, you never see “the next (fill-in-the-blank)” coming, so call me skeptical but curious.
The prospect: B
Sex Drive
The lowdown: A high school senior “borrows” his brother’s beloved ‘69 GTO and brings his friends (Duke and Crew) on a road trip from Chicago to Knoxville to hook up with a babe he met online.
The forecast: Intriguing title and premise, but other than that, I don’t have a read on this one.
The prospect: C
What Just Happened
The lowdown: A comedy about two weeks in the life of a fading Hollywood producer (Robert De Niro) who’s having a rough time trying to get his new picture made.
The forecast: Barry Levinson directed, and his output has been uneven lately. I’d hope this is more like the inspired Wag the Dog than the uninspired Man of the Year.
The prospect: B
OCTOBER 10
City of Ember
The lowdown: The underground City of Ember is the only light in an otherwise dark world. When the city’s generator begins to fail, teenagers race to help their fellow citizens escape.
The forecast: The director is Gil Kenan, who made the undervalued Monster House, and he’s got a great cast, including Bill Murray, Toby Jones and Atonement Oscar nominee Saoirse Ronan. Color me persuaded.
The prospect: A
Body of Lies
The lowdown: An ex-journalist (Leonoardo DiCaprio) working to locate an Al Qaeda leader for the CIA faces pressure from an agent (Russell Crowe) for whom failure is not an option.
The forecast: There’s some validity to the concern that the trailer makes this look more like a slick Tony Scott action flick than a probing Ridley Scott drama, but the writer is William Monahan, who worked wonders with Ridley on the long version of Kingdom of Heaven before winning an Oscar for The Departed. Good enough for me.
The prospect: A
The Express
The lowdown: A drama based on the life of Ernie Davis, who becomes the first African American to win the Heisman Trophy.
The forecast:Is it just me, or are these true-life sports dramas getting a bit stale, especially since Dennis Quaid already made one of them?
The prospect: C
Quarantine
The lowdownA television reporter and her cameraman (Harris) are assigned to spend the night shift with a Los Angeles fire station. After a routine 911 call takes them to a small apartment building, they learn that a woman living in the building has been infected by something unknown.
The forecast:Looks like Cloverfield combined with Outbreak, but the trailer is a grabber. Here’s hoping the movie is too.
The prospect: B
OCTOBER 17
Max Payne
The lowdown: A DEA agent (Mark Wahlberg) and an assassin (Mila Kunis) try to solve a series of murders.
The forecast: I’d feel a lot more confident about this one if it had a better director than John Moore, whose roster includes the undistinguished Behind Enemy Lines and The Omen remake.
The prospect: C
W.
The lowdown: The life story of a lame duck.
The forecast: Oliver Stone taking on the life of W? Talk about a loose cannon firing from a stacked deck! I can’t resist.
The prospect: A
OCTOBER 24
The Brothers Bloom
The lowdown: A pair of brothers and conmen (Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo) target an enigmatic wealthy woman (Rachel Weisz) as their potential last job.
The forecast: The director previously made Brick and the trailer makes this movie look like a lot of fun, with the three leads playing off each other well.
The prospect: B
Crossing Over
The lowdown: A multi-character drama centered around the issue of illegal immigration in the United States. starring Harrison Ford, Sean Penn and Ashley Judd.
The forecast: A dynamite cast and a talented director Wayne Kramer (The Cooler) are behind one of the fall’s more promising dramas, but it’s not generating much Oscar talk. Hmm.
The prospect: B
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
The lowdown: Inevitable, wasn’t it?
The forecast: This sort of tween material has never been my cup of Red Bull, but I must confess to a curiosity as to what all the fuss is about.
The prospect: C
Pride and Glory
The lowdown: A family of New York City cops is when one brother (Edward Norton) uncovers a scandal at his sibling’s precinct. Colin Farrell co-stars
.
The forecast: Promising cast, a solid director in Gavin O’ Conner (Tumbleweeds, Miracle), so why don’t I feel more confident? Maybe because of the way it’s been bounced around the calendar.
The prospect: C
Saw V
The lowdown: If I drink your milkshake - oh, sorry, wrong “there will be blood” reference.
The forecast: I’m still curious to see the first film. I’m not curious to see the follow-ups.
The prospect: D
OCTOBER 31
Changeling
The lowdown: A woman (Angelina Jolie) who is reunited with her missing son is committed to an insane asylum when she begins to question whether the boy is her child.
The forecast: Clint Eastwood aims another one-two punch with this and the forthcoming Gran Torino. Jolie earned raves for her performance when the film played at Cannes. Eastwood is having a great run of late, and I don’t expect him to stop now.
The prospect: A
RocknRolla
The lowdown: A real-estate scam puts millions of pounds up for grabs, attractinf the attention of some otough guys (like Gerard Butler) and its more established underworld players (like Tom Wilkinson).
The forecast: Director Guy Ritchie’s career has been, um - turbulent lately, but word has it he’s bouncing back with this one. I hope so.
The prospect: B
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
The lowdown: Two friends (Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks) make a skin flick to raise cash and find out they have feelings for each other in the process.
The forecast: Only Kevin Smith could come up with this one. Well, maybe John Waters would if he were feeling sentimental, but never mind. Word has it this has echoes of Chasing Amy, Smith’s best film to date, and he has two great leads. The title doesn’t bother me!
The prospect: A
What among the lineup attracts/repels you?
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Cher IS Catwoman! (?)
So there’s a report out that Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan wants to cast Cher as Catwoman in the next film.
I have but one word to say about that:
PFFFT!
The story appears to have originated with The Telegraph in London, but the reporting looks about as credible as that of the Weekly World News. It talks about not only about how Nolan has chosen Cher, but that he’s ready to begin shooting the film in Vancouver early next year.
Ummmm … no. According to this Variety story, Nolan isn’t even signed to direct the third film yet, much less ready to begin shooting. And I highly doubt a script is even close to finished, if indeed, one has been started at all.
Like the folks at AICN, I call BS on this one. It’s not worth getting worked up about. The rumor mongering is so transparent, it makes the theories that (SPOILER ALERT) Harvey Dent isn’t really dead look halfway credible.
Let’s assume, though, that Catwoman really is in the next film. Who plays her? Angelina Jolie seems too obvious to me. How ‘bout Rachel McAdams?
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Fall movie preview: September
Since my last blog entry focused on a certain film that’s not coming out this fall anymore, maybe I should focus instead on films that are coming out this fall.
All week long I will be previewing the fall/holiday offerings, from the doldrums of the early autumn to the (hoped for) Oscar glory of the later fall. Today, we’ll see what September has to offer. Although the month tends to be a dumping ground for less than promising films, there are at least a few highlights.
I will give each film a prospect grade indicating how eager I am to see it.
A = The waiting is the hardest part
B = Intrigued, but not essential
C = I’ll live if I see it; I’ll live if I don’t
D = Only if I am hopelessly bored
F= Only if I’ve lost my fricken’ mind
As always, release dates are subject to change, as many people are painfully aware by now.
SEPTEMBER 5
The Accidental Husband
The lowdown: When a talk radio host (Uma Thurman) advises one of her listeners to break up with her boyfriend, the ex sets about getting his revenge.
The forecast: This was moved from late August, presumably to give it more breathing room at the box office. Sounds pleasant enough, but I just can’t get fired up about it. However, it may sing like a George Cukor classic compared to what else is on the bill this week.
The prospect: C
Bangkok Dangerous
The lowdown: Nicolas Cage tries on his low rent action chops in a film by cult directors the Pang brothers, who have yet to break out here.
The forecast: Can’t be that much dopier than Ghost Rider- can it?
The prospect: D
SEPTEMBER 12
Burn After Reading
The lowdown: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton and John Malkovich star in a comedy directed by the Coen brothers.
The forecast: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton and John Malkovich star in a comedy directed by the Coen brothers? Sold!
The prospect: A
Righteous Kill
The lowdown: Two veteran New York City detectives try to find the connection between a recent murder and a case they believe they solved years ago.
The forecast: The good news? Robert De Niro and Al Pacino have made another film together! The bad news? It’s directed by Jon Avnet, who most recently directed Pacino in 88 Minutes, which by all accounts seemed to last 888 minutes. Still, I’m cautiously hopeful because the screenplay is by the writer of Inside Man, one of the best police thrillers in recent years.
The prospect: B
Tyler Perry’s The Family That Preys
The lowdown: Friends Charlotte (Kathy Bates) and Alice (Alfre Woodard) go on a cross-country road trip to ease some family problems.
The forecast: I’ve never jumped on the Perry bandwagon, Madea or no Madea, but this one has a good cast and a good idea. If buzz is good, I may yet check it out.
The prospect: B
The Women
The lowdown: What starred Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford, Joan Fontaine and Rosalind Russell in 1939 stars Meg Ryan, Eva Mendes, Annette Bening and Jada Pinkett-Smith today, in a drama about what happens when Ryan discovers her husband is cheating on her.
The forecast: Obviously, this movie is hoping to ride Sex and the City’s wave of box-office success, but I’m not so certain every female-dominated cast = huge hit. For some reason, this looks shallow and unnecessary to me, but I hope I’m wrong.
The prospect: C
SEPTEMBER 19
Ghost Town
The lowdown: Ricky Gervais) dies for a seven-minute period during his colonoscopy, then awakens to realize he has gained the ability to see and communicate with ghosts, including one (Greg Kinnear) who wants to break up the marriage of his widow (Tea Leoni).
The forecast: The premise is interesting, but if Steven Spielberg couldn’t make a similar premise work in Always, I’m not sure writer-director David Koepp can.
The prospect: C
Igor
The lowdown: In this animated feature, a certain laboratory assistant looks to win the Annual Evil Science Fair with his own creation.
The forecast: Any plot that has an Annual Evil Science Fair sounds promising. I’m very curious about this one, featuring the voices of John Cusack, Molly Shannon and Steve Buscemi.
The prospect: B
Lakeview Terrace
The lowdown: A police officer (Samuel L. Jackson) goes to extremes to force out the interracial couple (Kerry Washington and Patrick Wilson) who just moved in next door.
The prospect: Promising trailer, but this could also be exploitive junk like Unlawful Entry was. At the very least, I hope director Neil LaBute bounces back after the debacle of his Wicker Man remake.
The prospect: C
My Best Friend’s Girl
The lowdown: Dane Cook works as a womanizer hired by guys who want their girlfriends or wives to reconsider leaving them. Things get complicated when Kate Hudson enters the mix.
The forecast: Why do I get the feeling that Dane Cook’s rant about the poster will be the funniest thing to come out of the film? Maybe because the filmography of director Howard Deutch reads like the ultimate C-list.
The prospect: D
SEPTEMBER 26
Eagle Eye
The lowdown: A young man (Shia LaBeouf) and his mother (Michelle Monaghan) become unwitting members of a terrorist cell.
The forecast: The director is DJ Caruso, who is obviously looking to repeat the success he had with LaBeouf and Disturbia, which I thought was well made but predictable. Most of that film’s success came from people who had never seen Rear Window. We’ll see if this one kicks the quality up a notch.
The prospect: B
Miracle at St. Anna
The lowdown: A murder sets in motion an investigation that leads back to the experiences of a battalion of black American soldiers who became trapped in a Tuscan village during WWII.
The forecast: The trailer looks very strong to me, so I’m a little surprised it hasn’t attracted stronger Oscar buzz. However loud such buzz may or may not be, I’m very anxious to see this one.
The prospect: A
Nights in Rodanthe
The lowdown: A doctor (Richard Gere) sparks romance with an unhappily married woman (Diane Lane) at a North Carolina inn.
The forecast: The trailer for this looks awfully maudlin, although I thought the same thing about the trailer for The Notebook, also based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks, and I really liked The Notebook. We’ll see.
The prospect: B
What are you most/least looking forward to seeing here?
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Harry Potter delay, Sir Critic’s away
So … how many people want to take bets that Warner Bros. changes its mind about delaying Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince to next July after they get flooded with angry mail?
I’m actually half serious. No one outside of WB seems to be saying, “Hey, a Harry Potter delay! What a great idea! I don’t mind waiting 11 months instead of three!” I like the theory in Entertainment Weekly that since The Dark Knight has been insanely popular, WB didn’t need another big movie this year. It’s all Batman’s fault! Or maybe the Joker’s.
I understand the studio is trying to fill out its summer slate, but this still strikes me as a bad idea, if for no other reason than that it will generate a tremendous amount of ill will. If the studio doesn’t revert to November, I guess that means Madagascar: Back 2 Africa will have the IMAX field to itself after all. Yay! (SARCASM - I can’t think of a family film I’m looking forward to less, outside of maybe Fly Me to the Moon.)
Well, look at the bright side, gang. This way the last three Potter films will come in quick succession: 2009, 2010 and 2011. But somehow I think that’s small consolation.
While Potter fans sigh in exasperation, I will be away next week on my annual Memphis trek. Here’s what’s new in theaters while I’m gone. (I reviewed Tropic Thunder Wednesday and decried the attendant controversy Thursday).
At the multiplexes
Mirrors: Hm. Since this is a horror flick, and a bunch of mirrors are bound to break, does that mean more than seven years of bad luck?
Star Wars: The Clone Wars: I will not be seeing this while I am away.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona: This has attracted some of Woody Allen’s better reviews lately. I will be seeing this while I am away.
The Neon hangs on to Brideshead Revisited and The Wackness and adds Brick Lane, about a young girl from Bangladesh who finds the spark in her life fading after traveling to London for an arranged marriage.
The Little Art opens Brideshead Revisited.
At the Victoria
Hello, Dolly! is the Cool Film this weekend. The movie doesn’t have a great reputation, but it got some choice exposure by being featured so prominently (and used so well) in Pixar’s WALL-E. So question for Victoria: Does your programmer have a really sharp eye or is this a very happy coincidence? Either way, good going!
Next week’s offerings after the jump.
Multiplexes
The Rocker: On Wednesday, Fox opens this comedy featuring Rainn Wilson as an “I won’t grow up” rocker dude. I’m not sold.
Death Race: Paul W.S. Anderson remakes 1975’s Death Race 2000, and the ads for it actually don’t look too bad. One hopes it’s more Mortal Kombat than Alien vs. Predator.
The House Bunny: Wow, it’s a movie by Adam Sandler’s production company that actually doesn’t look terrible!
The Longshots: Five words: Fred Durst directs Ice Cube.
At the Victoria
The Cool Films series concludes with the Beatles in A Hard Day’s Night, one of my three favorite films of all time. It’s very clean.
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A disabled critic on the ‘Tropic Thunder’ controversy
Like many disabled people, I’m angry about what Tropic Thunder has wrought, but I’m not angry about the movie. I’m angry about the controversy that has erupted around it.
Many protesters have blasted Ben Stiller’s new movie for its alleged insensitivity to people with mental handicaps. Stiller stars as an actor named Tugg Speedman who made a movie called Simple Jack. Speedman played the character as a stuttering wretch, and several people refer to Jack as a “retard.”
You can read some of the dismayed comments on our review page, or on this very blog, where a Donald Gallegos says, “Don’t support a film like this whose main thrust is to make fun of these kids.” Timothy Shriver, chairman of the Special Olympics, has been especially vocal in his calls to boycott the film.
There’s just one problem: Tropic Thunder’s main thrust is not to “make fun of these kids.” Like too many movie controversies, this one comes mainly from people who haven’t actually watched the movie. Shriver is on record as not having seen it. If people do see it, and are still offended, then I will respect their position, although I still believe any offense is a result of misinterpretation.
I have seen the film, because I prefer to know what I’m talking about before I make my augments. And in no way, shape or form is this movie mocking the disabled. If Tropic Thunder were truly being mean-spirited, I would have picked up on it. Having a mild case of cerebral palsy, I’ve endured little kids making fun of the way I walk, big kids tripping me in the hall at school, and adults who shy away from me when I approach them. I know how that hurts. And I got none of those feelings from Tropic Thunder.
The real target of the Simple Jack scenes is not “retards,” but actors with egos the size of Australia who play disabled people, seeing it as easy awards bait. The movie makes it very clear that Simple Jack bombed at the box office, and that people see Tugg Speedman as an insensitive twit for what he did. If anything, the movie mocks those who mock the disabled.
Condescending movies like Radio, which portray the disabled as innocent saints worthy of pity, are far more disturbing to me. (Read my original review here). Yet those films get a pass because they makes people feel all warm n’ fuzzy. I’m not going to come down too hard on Radio, because its heart was in the right place, but it still played more like a legend of a caricature than the story of a real disabled man. Portrayals of the disabled, by Daniel Day-Lewis in My Left Foot or Leonardo DiCaprio in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape were so refreshing because they were honest and forthright. They earned their tears.
I’m amazed at how so much of the controversy centers around the film’s frequent use of the word “retard.” If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that words don’t define people. Actions do. And the actions of these protesters greatly disturb me.
By blindly attacking Tropic Thunder, by calling for boycotts, and by spreading assumptions, these protesters only scratch the surface. All they can see is what’s on the outside, and in so doing, they don’t try to understand what’s going on beneath the exterior.
That’s the very same mistake many people make about the disabled. And that’s far more upsetting to me than anything in Tropic Thunder. The whole outcry reminds me of a saying in another movie about someone who wasn’t a smart man: “Stupid is as stupid does.”
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‘Tropic Thunder’ cracks great but uneven gags
Tropic Thunder isn’t quite the downpour of laughs the trailers promise. If anything, it’s frustratingly funny.
How can a movie be frustratingly funny? By offering occasional bursts of humor that are so hilarious, it’s a letdown when the energy flags. The movie can’t keep up with itself, but during the best gags, I laughed as hard as I have all year.
The premise is certainly inspired: a hapless crew of filmmakers is trying to shoot the titular Vietnam war epic, but it’s not going well. The director (Steve Coogan) cannot control his cast of egomaniacal actors, including the drug-addicted Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black); the over-prepared Kirk Lazarus, who underwent an operation to play a black man (Robert Downey Jr); and especially, the too-cocky Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller).
So the studio decides to up the stakes: they’ll shoot the movie guerrilla style, with hand-held cameras. Unfortunately, the filmmakers stumble upon a band of actual heroin manufacturers, believing them to be actors. In turn, the dope dealers think the actors are from the Drug Enforcement Agency. The horror. The horror…
Some routines in Tropic Thunder are brilliantly funny, particularly ones that skewer the movie business. One of this movie’s favorite targets is awards-bait pomposity. My loudest laugh in the early going came during one of the fake trailers that proudly presented “Five-time Academy Award Winner Kirk Lazarus, and MTV Movie Award Best Kiss Winner Tobey Maguire!”
Stiller, who co-wrote and directed, does some impressive work visually, aided in no small part by cinematographer John Toll, whose credits include Braveheart and The Thin Red Line. If nothing else, Tropic Thunder just might be the best-looking movie spoof ever made.
If only the movie kept hitting those same highs. Funnily enough, one of Tropic Thunder’s problems is that it’s too self-consciously clever. Stiller has a tendency to set up a great joke, and then wear out its welcome. Case in point: the controversial “Simple Jack” gags that show Tugg hamming it up as mentally disabled man. The problem isn’t that the material is offensive, it’s that Stiller lets it go on too long until the gags become more bizarre than funny. I’m not sure why a preteen drug lord is supposed to be amusing, but there’s one in this movie.
Luckily, the movie has an ace cast to fall back on, Downey turns in one of his wildest performances, playing not so much a caricature as a multi-layered portrait of a man who takes himself way too seriously, on camera and off. Black is ideally cast as the strung out junkie who also borrows a page from the I-play-every-character handbook, a la Eddie Murphy in Norbit.
And then there’s the performance by … well, you’ve probably heard who plays the hyper studio chief by now, but just to be on the safe side, I’ll only reveal it’s an actor whose fallen out of public favor in recent years. He’s hysterically funny, and maybe even the best part of the movie. If this doesn’t get him back in the public’s good graces, nothing will.
Tropic Thunder isn’t so much a great movie as it is a good movie with great scenes - but that’s plenty good enough.
GRADE: B+
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How do you rent your movies?
It seems like every few months, the home movie-renting business offers a new twist. First it was your good old fashioned video store. Next it was DVDs by mail. Then it became watching a movie on demand, piped in through your cable/satellite feed. Now we have DVD rental kiosks, of which Redbox seems to be the most ubiquitous.
Me, I’m a Netflix man, but I’m a little different from the average renter. Unlike 95 percent of moviegoers, I’m actually LEAST interested in the new release section. Since I’m fortunate enough to have watching movies as part of my job, I see most everything theatrically. So I use Netflix mostly to catch up on older movies I’ve not seen.
I tried video on demand a few times, but I’ve found playback is a little funky lately, so I tend to avoid it. On the other hand, video on demand does force you to watch the movie soon, whereas Netflix enables me to be lazy enough for me to keep movies for months on end. I’m sure that ain’t just me.
I haven’t tried Redbox yet, but I like the idea of being able to reserve movies from home before you actually go out. Still, Redbox is all new releases, so again, I would get that only if I needed a movie pronto.
And brick and mortar stores? I can’t remember the last time I rented from one. I’ll go in there occasionally to pick up used DVDs on the cheap, but otherwise, I don’t see the need anymore. Seems the industry doesn’t either. Remember when you used to be able to rent from gas stations?
So which approach do you prefer? Or do you mix and match? Why? Clue me and your other readers in, maybe you’ll give us ideas or venues we haven’t thought of.
And to add to the fun, if you feel so inclined, tell me what your’re watching lately. Here’s the top of my Netflix queue, after the jump.
8 1/2: Never have seen one of the best movies about movies. I’m on that kick with the release of Tropic Thunder at hand. (Review coming tomorrow).
Out of Africa: One of the few Best Picture winners I’ve not seeen. I’m trying to catch up with movies directed by the recently departed Sydney Pollack.
Day for Night: Another of the movie-movies I’ve not seen, to my shame.
The Electric Horseman: More Pollack.
In a Lonely Place: One of Bogart’s most unusual performances, so I’ve heard.
4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days: Really need to catch up with this one to do a proper 10 Best list.
Point Blank: NOT to confused with the Keanu/Swayze movie. This is a 1967 crime drama I’ve always wanted to see ever since Martin Scorsese featured it in his A Personal Journey documentary about American movies.
Jesus Camp: Acclaimed and reputedly frightening doc that got away from me.
Sherrybaby: A drug addiction drama with Maggie Gyllenhaal in the lead. I like her work.
Animaniacs: Catching up with one of my favorite TV cartoon shows - and saving monry from buying those expensive DVD box sets in the bargain.
Your turn!
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Star Warzzzz: The Clone Warzzzz
I like to call myself a Star Wars fan, but not a fanatic. I’m not one of those people that obsesses over Han shooting first, or pines for the original version of “Lapti Nek” from Return of the Jedi. (Although I guess I’m geeky enough that I even know the name of that song.)
Still, I do own every Star Wars film on DVD. Moreover, I’m what’s known as a “prequel apologist,” meaning that I actually like Episodes I, II and III. Yes, even The Phantom Menace, Jar-Jar, Jake Lloyd and all.
So why can’t I get excited about Star Wars: The Clone Wars, opening on Friday?
The trailer for it instantly underwhelmed me.
That animation just looks - cheap. It SCREAMS “direct-to-DVD knockoff that’s getting a theatrical release.”
The reviews so far aren’t encouraging. Variety says: ” … there’s little doubt this stuff will look more at home on the tube than it does on the big screen, since one thing is for sure: This isn’t the “Star Wars” we’ve always known and at least sometimes loved.”
The Hollywood Reporter says: “Frankly, given the newer installments’ increasing reliance on computer-animated effects, the transition from live action to animation isn’t really all that dramatic.”
And then, most witheringly of all, Harry Knowles at Ain’t It Cool News put up a review over the weekend (since yanked-hmm) that contained the pungent phrase. “I hated a Star Wars. That F - - - sucks. ” His review was pulled off the site, but for now, it can be found here.
Good god. If the amazingly forgiving Knowles can’t get into it, what hope is there for the rest of us?
What do you think? Are you interested? I’m not even sure it’ll crack $100 million at the box office. I have a bad feeling about this …
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Bernie Mac,1957-2008
I cannot claim to have been a particular follower of Bernie Mac’s, especially since he gained more fame in TV than in movies, but I can say that he was always someone I was glad to see on the big screen, whether it was in Bad Santa, the Oceans franchise, or especially, his routine in The Original Kings of Comedy. And it makes me sad that I won’t get to see him in something new. I was especially disheartened to read that complications from pneumonia took him. We lost Jim Henson in a similar way. George Clooney put it best: “The world just got a little less funny.”
Amen.
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Audrey Hepburn weekend
If you’re looking for a movie review, I wrote about Pineapple Express on Wednesday, when it opened. It’s a terrific stoner comedy from the Judd Apatow crew - and it’s cinematic to boot.
No, today, I’m here to talk about more genteel matters - like Audrey Hepburn weekend at the Victoria Theatre in Dayton. Instead of playing the same film all three days,Victoria plays a different movie each day.
Tonight, it’s Billy Wilder’s Sabrina. Many love the film, although Wilder and Humphrey Bogart did not, as the two of them didn’t get along. But even if Wilder and Bogie weren’t firing on all thrusters, Audrey certainly was. Even an image as simple as Audrey spinning and spinning in a chair remains indelible the way she does it. Referring to Hepburn’s entrance in the film, Cameron Crowe wrote “Today, when many a newly arriving ingenue is heralded as ‘the new Audrey Hepburn,’ it is this moment the Hollywood yearns to recapture … and never quite can.”
On Saturday, the film is Charade. Many people talk about how Hitchcockian it is, but honestly, I couldn’t see Audrey in a real Hitchcock movie. She had a different air than the Hitchcock blondes. She wasn’t the “snow-covered volcano” that the director seemed to favor. However, she did match Cary Grant’s style and grace better than any other female costar of his, which is a large part of why the film works so well.
Sunday’s movie is Roman Holiday. Never mind Breakfast at Tiffany’s and forget the endlessly overrated My Fair Lady. For my money, this is still the quintessential Audrey film. If someone asks me “What made Audrey Hepburn so great?” this is the movie I would show. Is there any other actress who could seem so refined, so elegant, and yet so lovable and adorable at the same time? Simply, put, no.
After reflecting on the comments below, I just HAD to add this scene, which may be my single favorite moment of Audrey’s: Her rendition of “Moon River” in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The scene is direct, heartfelt and deeply charming - because that’s what Audrey still is.
For discussion: Tell me your favorite Hepburn films and what her appeal is to you.
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STOP with the dead/live singer duets!
OK, I’m breaking protocol here since this isn’t strictly movie-related, but when I saw this story about the new Elvis Christmas duets album, which pairs Elvis with the likes of Carrie Underwood and LeeAnn Rimes, I had to say something.
Please, please, please … ENOUGH with the technical trick of paring live artists with dead ones! It was kinda novel several years ago when Natalie Cole duetted with her dad on “Unforgettable,” and it was interesting to hear Paul, George and Ringo finish off songs left behind by John, but now the trick is just getting ghoulish.
Priscilla Presley says in the story, “I am sure Elvis would be proud to have worked with them.” I’m not. But I AM sure she won’t mind that money that will roll into the Presley estate.
I mean, what’s next? As long as we’re going this far, why not do an album featuring newly created duets with ALL dead people! Let’s pair up Elvis and John Lennon on “Blue Suede Shoes,” which they both recorded. Let’s marry Elvis and George Harrison for a new version of “Something!” Or even Frank Sinatra and George on the same song!
Ucch. This really needs to stop. It’s already turned as cheesy as one of Elvis’ movies - and that’s no mean feat.
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What movies would make fun theme park rides?
Kings Island unveiled its latest roller coaster Wednesday, the Diamondback. The ride will feature 10 vertical drops, including drops of 193 feet, 131 feet, 129 feet, 110 feet and 106 feet.
I guess they forgot to mention the last drop: the one where your lunch drops about 2 feet into the nearest trash can. No thanks. Too much for me. Nothing short of a quadruple date with Amy Adams, Anne Hathaway, Kate Winslet and a resurrected Grace Kelly circa 1954 would get me on that near-death experience.
But I’n not really here to discuss my aversion to mega-coasters. Bringing the topic around to movies, as this blog must, I’m here to ask: What movies would make for fun theme park rides?
Right now Disney is working on a ride that was obvious to everyone from the moment they saw Monsters Inc: an inverted roller coaster based on the door room sequence from that film.
But what other possibilities are there? What about Aladdin? This movie did get a ride, but I was disappointed that it was basically a clone of the Dumbo ride. I always thought the escape from the Cave of Wonders would make for a cool simulator ride, along the lines of Star Tours - which, incidentally, badly needs updating. I don’t think it’s changed one iota since it debuted in 1987.
If I wanted to be facetious, about how rides keep getting more and more perilous, I could suggest a coaster where there’s an actual gap in the track the cars have to jump. That could be based on The Dukes of Hazzard, or perhaps less embarrassingly, Speed.
Or what about: Apollo 13: The ride, which will have a first hill so high, riders are required to wear oxygen helmets?
Now that my suggestions are getting goofy, it’s time to turn the floor to you: What movies could make for cool theme park rides? If you can’t think of any try this on for size: What are your favorite rides/attractions associated with movies? Two of mine: The late and lamented Back to the Future (now The Simpsons Ride) at Universal, and Peter Pan’s Flight at the Magic Kingdom.
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I love the smell of ‘Pineapple’ in the morning …
Pineapple Express is the Apocalypse Now of stoner comedies.
OK, hear me (or read me) out. I promise I didn’t take up Bong Technique 101, since I’m not experienced in such chemical alteration. However, Francis Ford Coppola’s 1979 Vietnam classic really is the film that first sprang to mind after I saw it.
It’s not just because the finale is graphically violent and bloody, albeit in an over the top, comical way. And it’s not just because the characters are high or hallucinating much of the time. It’s because like Apocalypse Now, Pineapple Express is a real mystery tour. Moment to moment, I could never tell where the movie was taking me - and that’s an especially rare trait among stoner comedies.
It also helps that like Apocalypse Now, Pineapple Express looks great. Neither Coppola nor his cinematographer, Vittorio Storaro, are going to lose any sleep, but Pineapple Express has some great shots - especially for a Judd Apatow-produced comedy, not to mention a stoner one. That’s the happy consequence of hiring a director with an eye, David Gordon Green.
Green has directed acclaimed arthouse pictures as George Washington and All the Real Girls, so he might seem an odd fit for Apatow-World, but he turned out to be an ideal choice, not only for his way with a camera, but the way he gets performances out of his actors, who hit all the right notes.
Seth Rogen (Knocked Up) plays Dale Denton, a process server. He’s not exactly a GQ man, but he’s not exactly a slacker either, spending his work hours cleverly disguising himself in his job as a process server, and spending his off hours smoking weed with his dealer Saul (James Franco). After buying a particularly potent batch (see title), Dale witnesses a murder, sending him on the wildest drugged-out binge this side of John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.
Like a number of Apatow’s comedies, Pineapple Express doesn’t know quite when to quit because the filmmakers can’t seem to bear to cut all those jokes they laughed at watching the dailies. Even so, it’s still one of the funniest entries from the Apatow stable.
Written by the Superbad duo of Rogen and Evan Goldberg, Pineapple Express doesn’t think being stoned is funny and of itself, unlike say, Dude, Where’s My Car. This movie doesn’t come down on pot-smoking much, but it does present likable characters who have something lurking underneath all that haze. Saul might give The Dude a run for his money first glance, but as played by Franco, Saul does display some smarts, red-eyed as they might be.
Some might say the violence is a turn-off, but I thought it made Pineapple Express a better, more surprising movie . Early on, I was smiling a lot, but I wasn’t laughing much. By the end I was laughing a lot, particularly at how bizarre it was willing to get. And I didn’t need a bong to figure that out. Count me in if we get Pineapple Redux on the DVD.
GRADE: A-
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Mike Myers owes EVERYONE an apology
All summer long, I’ve gotten email after email from a Hindu group, protesting Mike Myers latest “comedy,” The Love Guru.
Here’s their latest demand to Myers:
Hindus have asked Mike Myers, Hollywood actor and producer, for a public apology for lampooning Hinduism with his recent movie “The Love Guru”.
Acclaimed Hindu leader Rajan Zed, in a statement in Nevada (USA) today, said that although the apology may not completely undo the damage done to the community, but it might help heal the wounds somewhat of apparently disturbed Hindu populace of the world, who number around one billion.
Zed, who is the president of Universal Society of Hinduism, further said that ksama (forgiveness) is one of the main virtues of Hindu ethics. If Myers offers genuine public apology, Hindus would not only absolve him but might also pray for his success in future movies, if asked.
Meanwhile, various other organizations, including Hindu Alliance of India, Hindu Janjagruti Samiti, Shri Ramayan Pracharini Sabha, Sanatan Sanstha, India Heritage Panel, have also demanded public apology from Mike Myers.
Rajan Zed has launched the protest movement against “The Love Guru” since March, saying that it appeared to be lampooning Hinduism and Hindus and using Hindu terms frivolously.
Michael John Myers of Austin Powers fame, a British Canadian, who is the lead actor, co-writer and co-producer of “The Love Guru”, plays Guru Pitka in this movie.
And I got this email Monday night, long after the movie has already bombed at the box office, pulling in a mere $32 million domestic on a $62 million budget. These folks are persistent.
But why stop at the Hindus? I actively avoided seeing the film after having to suffer through the idiotic trailers and Myers’ stupid promo stunt on American Idol. Next to The Love Guru ads, Get Smart played like a Billy Wilder comedy.
I say Myers owes us ALL an apology. If I was being mean, I could blame Myers for giving Verne Troyer an excuse to be on the news about a sex tape.
But, no, an apology is not in the cards. He’s kicking around ideas for a fourth Austin Powers, a franchise that was already out of steam. The man is clearly desperate. At this point, I’m pulling for Daniel Craig to cameo and beat the tar out of Austin, Dr. Evil AND Mini-Me.
That’d give me a quantum of solace.
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What movies work best with chemical assistance?
With the release of Pineapple Express tomorrow, list-makers everywhere are ordering their rankings of the best stoner movies. I’d like to put a spin on the question, however:
What movies can be fully appreciated only if you’ve been drunk or high at least once in your life?
I have some difficulty answering this question myself, because you could count on one hand the number of times I’ve had alcohol (two of those were accidental), and yes, I have inhaled - but only secondhand marijuana smoke.
So maybe that’s why when I saw Dazed and Confused, it just didn’t resonate with me. Since what little social life I had didn’t involve any kind of drugs, I found that movie extremely slow and boring. I still can’t help but wonder what Entertainment Weekly critic Owen Gleiberman was smoking when he put it on his 10 best list - ABOVE Schindler’s List. Um …. no.
Many of you might say 2001, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true. That’s on my top 10 of all time, and I put it there without a little help from my friends - although I think you could make an argument that you have to be high to fully appreciate Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band - the movie.
So - what are your chemically imbalanced picks?
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What’s opening Wednesday, Aug. 6?
This is one of those weeks when Hollywood treats us to its movies a couple of days early, and both offerings have some promise.
Pineapple Express: Here’s the oddest filmmaking combination you’ll see all year - the writers of Superbad team up with David Gordon Green, a director of arthouse fare like George Washington and All the Real Girls, to make a mainstream stoner comedy. Seth Rogen and James Franco play potheads who flee from the cops after Rogen witnesses a murder. Review to appear Wednesday.
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2: The girls of the 2005 film, a very charming little sleeper, return for more angsty, romantic travails, and the movie probably won’t be such a sleeper this time, what with all four leads having starred in successful TV shows.
And just in case you were wondering, the DVD slate is thin this week. The only mainstream release of note is the Jodie Foster/Abigail Breslin adventure Nim’s Island. On the arthouse side, there’s The Counterfeiters, this year’s foreign language film winner at the Oscars.
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Praising movies for being “clean.”
Over at Roger Ebert’s Answer Man column, a reader takes him to task for disliking Mamma Mia. A Tom Kilpatrick of Nashville writes: “I went to see “Mamma Mia!” and as a 65-year-old ABBA fan, I loved it. It was refreshing. No violence. Loving, exciting, entertaining, what a movie should be. Don’t berate a movie just because you don’t like it. As a critic, you should be intellectually honest and not self-serving.”
Ebert has already responded to the reader’s “Don’t berate a movie just because you don’t like it,” remark, but Kilpatrick makes another dubious point when he praises the movie for having “No violence.”
OK, WAIT a minute here. Mamma Mia! is worthwhile because it has no violence? That’s like lauding an episode of Sesame Street for not singing that C is for Carnage. Of course a movie based on an ABBA-infused musical has no violence! The only way Mamma Mia! could be violent is if they set “Waterloo” as a musical backdrop against the battle that Napoleon lost.
I’m also bothered by the overall implication that because movies have no sex and no violence, and no swearing, that makes them good movies. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
I frequently hear these remarks when it comes to classic movies. The likes of Casablanca and Singin’ in the Rain get praised because they don’t have any of that awful R-rated filth we have today. But the same backwards viewpoint applies to modern films.
The belief that sex and violence and profanity are inherently bad leads to ridiculous overgeneralizations like “Oh, that Titanic would be a great movie if only it didn’t have that AWFUL nudity!” Or “I’d like my kids to see Saving Private Ryan, but it’s so violent and there’s so much profanity.”
Ludicrous. In both of those cases, the sex and the violence serve their respective stories. The movies would not have the same impact without them. They’re not there just for show, they’re there because they’re the best way to make a point. That’s what the creators of the so-called “Clean Flicks” edits that remove these scenes fail to understand. Just because a movie isn’t suitable for the whole family doesn’t make it a bad movie.
Yes, movies made during the “golden age” have a certain sheen to them that today’s movies do not, but it’s not because they’re “clean.” It’s because of an attention to story and character that is greatly diminished today.
Singin’ in the Rain and Casablanca aren’t great movies because they don’t have profanity or explicit sex or violence. They’re great movies because they have great stories, characters and filmmaking craft. It’s because there’s never been a goodbye line like “We’ll always have Paris” and it’s because singing in the rain can be the most joyous act on earth the way Gene Kelly does it.
The bottom line is this: I would much rather praise a movie for what it has, than for what it does not have.
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The Mummy: Tomb of the Lousy Adventure
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor had me on the edge of my seat - as I slumped farther and farther down in my chair, realizing that I was seeing the lousiest action movie of the summer.
The worst thing about that realization was, it set in before the film was 10 minutes old. As a sneer began to cross my lips, a friend leaned over and asked me, “Are you getting the same sinking feeling I am?” The fact that my posterior was almost on the floor pretty much answered the question.
For this third go-round, the adventuring, bickering O’Connell family (Brendan Fraser, Maria Bello and Luke Ford) must stop an evil Chinese emperor (Jet Li) who has risen from the dead, intending to awaken his army and rule the world. Mwah-ho-hum. If only the story were as amusing as some of the digital effects.
Mind you, I didn’t go into the new Mummy movie expecting Dark Knight-level brilliance. I liked the first Mummy in this series. At the very least, I was hoping for a couple of hours of fun escapism that, indeed, would escape from my memory almost immediately. Instead, I found myself consumed with a compulsion to lead director Rob Cohen into a pit of quicksand.
Cohen, a hack of diminishing returns, has made exactly one good movie: Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. The other films I’ve seen of his have been mediocre at best and abysmal at worst. Dragonheart went up in smoke. The Fast and the Furious was neither. XXX struck out. And Stealth was aptly named for the way it flew under the radar at the box office.
Cohen’s action sequences here make no sense, not so much because of fast editing, but because he does such a terrible job of laying out who goes where. When he repeatedly failed to provide an establishing shot that showed where anyone or anything was, all I could do was shake my head in confusion. One of Cohen’s greatest sins was to take a fight between Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh, two of the best physical actors in the world, and shoot it mostly in slow-motion close-ups.
I kept wishing better talent were behind the camera, and not even A-list talent like Spielberg or Cameron. I would have preferred Brett Ratner (the Rush Hour movies), Paul W.S. Anderson (Mortal Kombat) or Chuck Russell (The Scorpion King). None of them are great directors, but all of them can direct action far better than Cohen.
Having expected so little and gotten even less from Cohen, I was hoping the cast would breathe some life into the movie. Alas, no. Fraser still has a goofy charm, but it gets lost amid all the noise. Bello, playing the Rachel Weisz character, is badly miscast. She’s an excellent actress in movies like A History of Violence and The Cooler, but goofy action comedy isn’t her gift, nor is a British accent. Ford, playing the son, looks so immature that I’d swear that the O’Connells had him when they were 10. Yeoh, playing the emperor’s ancient nemesis, enlivens the movie somewhat, but neither she nor Jet Li are used nearly as well as they should have been.
And the less said about the lame attempts at comedy the better. I’ll just type the words “yak vomit” and let you figure out the rest - if you dare.
GRADE: D-
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