Church renovates home
May Promenade in Dayton historic area
Cincy Street Rods car show
Home > Blogs > Big C's NFL Blitz > Archives > 2009 > December > 14
Monday, December 14, 2009
Art Schlichter and Gary Burbank come clean
I came across something very funny from my favorite book publishing company, Orange Frazer Press, and wanted to share it with our readers. As you may know, Gary Burbank and former Ohio State quarterback Art Schlichter will be appearing at Books& Co at the Greene on Tuesday, Dec 15th and Thursday Dec 17th.
Orange Frazer Press took time to sit down with their two celebrity authors and interview them about their last book signings and their plans for the holidays. Here is what Burbank and Schlichter had to say.
Where will you be spending the holidays this year?
Gary Burbank: With Earl Pitts and Gilbert Gnarley in Florida.
Art Schlichter: Not in prison, hopefully.
What do the two of you like best about the holidays?
GB: Sugarplums. Does anyone know what those are anyway?
AS: They sound questionable to me. I’m suspicious.
Can you sing the 12 days of Christmas?
GB: I like the version where the brothers from Canada sing about beer and turtlenecks.
AS: “Eight comic books, seven packs of smokes…”
GB: And bacon.
Do you believe in Santa?
GB: Of course.
AS: What’s not to believe in?
GB: I still leave him milk and cookies and a shot of Jack Daniels. I hope his suit is warm.
AS: Can he really make it around the world in one night? I am a fast driver and it still takes me over three hours to get to Cleveland from Cincinnati.
GB: It’s those eight reindeer. They have atomic horsepower. Your hemi is a turtle against eight reindeer, even if they are tiny.
AS: I hope Ford or GM reads this.
Any thoughts on Jesus’s birthday?
GB: Jesus said he was going to teach me how to walk on water. But I told him I’d rather learn how to fish.
AS: I think I’ll send him an autographed football. You know, I bet Jesus would have been a great wide receiver.
GB: Jesus would have been a quarterback. And his disciples would have been his offensive linemen.
AS: Agreed. But wasn’t there one disciple who was a dud or betrayer or something?
GB: Judas.
AS: Judas. Right, right.
GB: And I think Judas failed to block Jesus at a crucial moment and the Romans blitzed him.
AS: He must’ve been a late draft pick.
GB: He never made All-Apostle.
AS: And he was traded.
GB: To the Romans.
Any New Year’s Resolutions?
GB: I resolve to not resolve anything. Oh, and eat more lima beans; even if they do taste like dirt.
AS: I am addicted to Diet Coke. I probably need to see someone about that.
Thanks guys. Happy Holidays; see you at your book signings.
GB: Yep. I’ll be at Books& Co at the Greene on Thursday, Dec 17th at 7pm
AS: And I’ll be at Books& Co at the Greene on Tuesday, Dec 15th at 7pm
GB & AS: Have a safe, peaceful, and happy holiday!
Funny stuff!
“Busted, the Rise and Fall of Art Schlichter” and “Voices in my Head, the Gary Burbank Story” are available wherever books are sold.
Tweet
