Economy keeps couples together
People who have divorced continue to live together because they can't afford separate homes.
Comment: Would you live with your ex to save money?
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Running into your ex is almost always awkward and stressful. David Snyder and Nancy Partridge deal with it nearly every day.
The Denver couple divorced after six years of marriage but have been forced to live together for months because they can't sell their place or afford to set up separate households.
Snyder gets the master bedroom, while Partridge gets a smaller one. Snyder watches TV on one end of the house, Partridge on the other. The two split the grocery bill and kitchen duties. Sometimes they eat dinner together, sometimes apart. There are awkward silences, or worse.
"We've had tremendous arguments over things like who gets to park in the garage, but at this point, it's kind of settling down into a routine," said Partridge, 45, who works in public relations. "It's the lesser of two evils. I think the financial stress of a foreclosure, which would probably also lead to a bankruptcy, would be worse."
With the recession and the collapse of the housing market, more couples who have broken up are continuing to live together, according to judges and lawyers. Some are waiting for housing prices to rebound; some are trying to get back on their feet financially.
The phenomenon is being felt around the country but most keenly in areas hit harder by foreclosure, such as the Sun Belt.
When the real estate market was booming, couples would promptly sell their home, split the profits and go their separate ways.
These days, Florida Judge John C. Lenderman said, about a third of his cases involve homes that are in foreclosure or that a family is struggling to sell. Lenderman said he has never seen anything like it in 40 years as a lawyer and judge.
"They just can't do anything, financially," he said. "I've actually got a number of people, guys who are saying they're sleeping in their cars or pickup trucks, not paying their child support or anything. I've got some folks here who are down to flipping burgers."
Sometimes the financial implications of a divorce are so grim that a couple whose marriage is on the rocks decide to give it another try.
Kent Peterson, a longtime divorce mediator in Wayzata, Minn., said a young couple from the Minneapolis area were moving toward separation until they got a look at all the costs involved in divorce.
"The thinking was they need to work a little harder and stay together because of the changing asset picture," he said.
Snyder and Partridge, the reluctant housemates in Denver, divorced last January. When the house failed to sell and Partridge ran out of money to pay for an apartment and her half of the mortgage, she moved back in with Snyder over the summer.
Snyder is catching grief from his family. "They say I could move on with life if she wasn't there," he said.
Neither one is dating again. "But I know it's going to be awkward when it comes up," Partridge said.
The two haven't talked about how long they're going to stay in the same house.

Comments
By Alex
December 4, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this
I can tell you I’m in this exact situation. Fortunately, my wife and I still get along well, so it’s not been an issue. But it is hard to move on for both of us. We’ve no idea when we’ll be able to physically separate.
By deb
December 4, 2008 8:23 AM | Link to this
NO!! NO!! NO!! That certainly would not work for me. I,d live in my car first or work 2 or 3 jobs to make it.
By bushsux
December 4, 2008 7:08 AM | Link to this
if he cheated on me, yes Id stay and make him watch all the bootycalls I bring in to ease my mind
By nancy
December 4, 2008 6:13 AM | Link to this
I actually know of a couple in the area who is doing this. They can’t afford to sell their house, so they are stuck in a “roommate” situation. It’s not ideal, and I think it’s lead to a lot of extra stress for them. But what else can they do?